The MeToo movement brought the scourge of sexual harassment to the forefront of society’s consciousness, launching a much-needed conversation that should have taken place decades ago. However, it also raised some challenging questions that do not always have easy answers.

Despite many allegations and lawsuits that followed, the central issue remains that sexual harassment in the workplace is all too common. However, some gray areas mean that perpetrators might not even know they are guilty. Here is why sexual harassment is sometimes difficult to pinpoint:

Defining sexual harassment

Sexual harassment attorneys from USAttorney’s directory of professionals know that the concept is challenging to define. While there are obvious instances of sexual harassment, such as groping, derogatory or vulgar remarks, or sexual assault, other examples of sexual harassment are more nuanced. These subtleties create a veritable assortment of shades of gray, making sexual harassment sometimes challenging to identify.

There is no one-size-fits-all definition of what constitutes sexual harassment, as the behavior should be contextualized to a specific situation. Factors like voice tone and body language could also affect judging behavior as sexual harassment.

Comments and behavior are subjected to the recipient’s perception, and not everyone has the same understanding of what is or is not offensive. Cultural and societal norms mean that victims and perpetrators have different ideas of appropriate behavior. Taking all this into consideration determines whether the behavior is sexual harassment.

The Spectrum of Sexual Misconduct at Work (SSMW)

Developed by Professor Kathleen Kelley Reardon from the University of Southern California Marshall School of Business, the SSMW attempts to define sexual harassment and the degrees in which it occurs. The spectrum ranges from behavior that is generally not offensive right to egregious sexual misconduct. In between are mildly offensive, offensive, and evidently offensive sexual misconduct.

Reardon provides examples for each category across the spectrum but stresses that it is not static and should be evolving as our understanding of sexual harassment expands. She believes the spectrum should be used as a conversation starter when addressing sexual harassment in the workplace.

Non-offensive behavior

Many men engage in conversations with their female colleagues without realizing they are causing offense. They did not intend to upset anyone with what they said. This happens when they enter one of those gray areas.

For example, a male colleague might compliment a female counterpart on her hairstyle or outfit. When this happens as a benign observation, it is generally inoffensive. However, many women complain that these innocuous remarks may become offensive if they are repeated.

It is not what you say, it is how you say it

Telling a colleague their hair looks nice is an innocent comment unless it is loaded with sexual innuendo, lascivious looks, or inappropriate behavior. Therefore, suggesting that you like a colleague’s hair and think she looks sexy is taking it a bit far. This could lead to the woman receiving the comment as offensive.

When making personal remarks at work, how you say it can determine whether it constitutes sexual harassment. Choose your words carefully and stick to neutral terms like ‘nice’. It has no sexual undertones or overtones.

Not talking about it

Many men are not receptive to hearing that a female colleague has taken offense to something they said or did. The sexual harassment debate has men feeling they are in an ‘us against them’ situation. They go on the defensive when someone questions what they said.

In an environment where people can freely discuss their feelings and perceptions, they learn about sexual harassment and how to avoid it. Such conversations are essential to make everyone, male or female, play their role in preventing sexual harassment.